“Stress happens when the mind resists what is.” — Dan Millman
Root Cause: Having two conflicting internal desires at the same time, and you are confused which one to choose.
Examples
- Career vs. Passion
- Desire 1: You want a stable, well-paying job with benefits.
- Desire 2: You want to pursue your passion (e.g., music, art, travel) full time.
- Result: You feel stuck, unfulfilled at work, and anxious because you’re ignoring what lights you up — but afraid of the instability if you chase your passion.
- Authenticity vs. Acceptance
- Desire 1: You want to express your true self, thoughts, and beliefs.
- Desire 2: You want to be liked, accepted, and avoid conflict.
- Result: You bottle things up, second-guess yourself, and feel like you’re performing — which creates internal stress.
- Change vs. Comfort
- Desire 1: You want to grow, try something new, or break out of a rut.
- Desire 2: You fear uncertainty and prefer to stay in your comfort zone.
- Result: You feel stuck, restless, and anxious — wanting something different but afraid to take the leap.
TSST = Trier Social Stress Test
MBSR = Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
Stress Inoculation Therapy (SIT，壓力免疫治療), also known as Stress Inoculation Training (壓力免疫訓練), is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that helps individuals develop skills to manage stress and anxiety.
The phenomenon of “empathic stress” causes individuals who are exposed to people who are stressed to experience stress themselves.
- If someone feels 同情 compassion (“I want to relieve your suffering.”) for a stressed person instead of 同理 empathy (“I feel your suffering.”), they may be less likely to take on that person’s stress.
The Yerkes-dodson Law
- Stress and performance are positively correlated but only up to a point, after which more stress actually reduces performance.
3Q Filters Test
- If you want to curb stress, you need to curate your thoughts.
- Run them through Jon Acuff’s 3 filters:
- Is it true?
- Is it helpful?
- Is it kind?
- If they’re not accurate, not serving you and making you feel worse, discard them immediately.
How to Prevent Anxiety Attacks? Slowly Look around You and find…
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell (or 2 smells you like)
- 1 emotion you feel
This is called “Grounding.”
Stress and anxiety are a tax on extreme ambition. They feed on idleness. When you take action, you starve them of the oxygen they need to survive.
Often, stress and anxiety come from the lack of a plan to bridge the gap between your present reality and future expectations, and are directly proportional to the amount of time you spend in the past or future.
- Solution: create a plan that will guide your daily actions to close the gap
- Once you have a plan, stress and anxiety melt away, because it just becomes a “game” of executing on a daily set of actions, which is entirely within your control.
學會與壓力共處，並非要將其消除，而是要掌握如何駕馭它。就像風箏需要風的力量才能飛得更高，飛機也必須逆風起飛，才能獲得足夠的升力衝上雲霄。人生的高峰往往也是在壓力的推動下才得以攀登。關鍵在於，我們是否能夠巧妙地調整風箏的線，讓風既不過於強烈而使它斷裂，也不過於微弱而讓它墜落。
壓力管理的終極目標，是為心靈尋找到一片安寧的港灣。這份平靜或許來自清晨的一杯咖啡、與友人深刻的對話，或許僅是靜靜凝視窗外，感受陽光灑在臉上的溫暖。在這樣的片刻，你會明白，壓力只是人生的一部分，而非整個人生。
在人生的旅程中，壓力無可避免，但我們有選擇如何應對它的權利。當我們學會以智慧與耐心調整步伐，壓力便不再是枷鎖，而是成為一位值得尊敬的導師，指引我們走向更深刻、更豐富的人生。