Enoughness

Be careful how you are talking to yourself

3 min read

We are what we believe we are.” — C.S. Lewis

“Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love.” — Brené Brown

“The only thing that keeps us from having what we really want is the stories we tell ourselves.” — Tony Robbins

“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself. — You wake up with them, you walk around with them, you go to bed with them, and eventually you act on them.” ― [@gogginsCantHurtMe2018]

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” — George Carlin

= Internal Monologue = Inner Dialogue

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” — Suzy Kassem

The most powerful word is the one you use to talk to yourself. The most important conversations you have in life are the ones you have with yourself. Make them positive and constructive. Negative self-talk is the biggest enemy. Don’t say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love.

On the one hand, don’t say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. On the other hand, the way you speak to others is the way you speak to yourself.

Never say, I’ll never…

If you say you can. Yes, you can! If you say you can’t. Yes, you’re right!

自證預言 = 自我實現預言 = 自我應驗預言 = Self-Fulfilling Prophecy ≈ 心理暗示

The quality of your stories impacts the quality of your life.

  • If you tell yourself you aren’t capable, you won’t try.
  • If you tell yourself you aren’t worthy, you won’t reach for it.
  • If you tell yourself you’re a static entity, you won’t attempt to grow.

So often, it’s not the sheer difficulty of achieving something that stops you—it’s the ease of continuing to tell yourself the story that you can’t. Don’t be the one to tell yourself no.

“I can’t.” → “I don’t.” 1

  • Instead of ‘I can’t check social media at work,’ try ‘I don’t check social media at work.’
  • Replace ‘I can’t skip my workouts’ with ‘I don’t skip my workouts.’

Next time you catch yourself saying, “I can’t…” or “I’m not the type of person who…”, pause. Ask yourself:

  • Is this absolutely true?
  • Or is this something I’ve just come to believe?
  • What would happen if I stopped arguing for this limitation?

If you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t. If you tell yourself you must, you’ll find a way.

See also: Push your limits

Self-criticism → Self-compassion

  • There will never be anybody else in the world that can be as brutal to you as you can to yourself. You’re your worst enemy.
  • We tend to be our own biggest critic.
  • The voice in your head is your permanent roommate.
  • Next time you find yourself wanting to criticize yourself for not being great, ask if you can instead celebrate being good enough.

See also:

Footnotes

  1. Or: “I will try.”, “I need help.” ↩

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